Hundreds Try to Push Chicago's Bean Seven Inches

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Over the weekend in Chicago, a few hundred people tried to move the Bean.

The Bean is Cloud Gate, the hundred-and-ten-ton mirrored sculpture in Millennium Park. For a while now, the internet has maintained that a man is trapped inside it. Then flyers went up around the city announcing, "we need to move The Bean 7 inches to the left."

Per UPI, the organizers explained that new research suggested a latch door under the right side, which would become reachable if the sculpture moved about seven inches. The goal was to give the man a pickle and other resources. First push, twelve forty-seven p.m. Sunday.

One attendee estimated about two hundred fifty people were pushing. A promoter first announced it had moved at least an inch, then clarified that it had not moved at all. That attendee, an art school freshman, said, "In the back of everyone's minds, we knew it wasn't really gonna move." But they pushed anyway, because the man needed that pickle.

Yesterday we told you about two Tokyo wards that move their border one meter a year with a tug-of-war. Tokyo has the better system. Chicago brought a pickle.

In Western Australia, the Margaret River Agricultural Show has a category for mixed weeds. ABC News reports that entries don't have to be grown. You can just collect them off the roadside.

This year a local conservation group entered a bouquet built entirely from invasive species: arum lilies, English ivy, watsonia, agapanthus, periwinkle. The point was to show how pretty garden plants escape into the bush.

The judges, from the Western Australian Horticultural Council, praised its design, workmanship and colour harmony. It won the mixed weeds category, and then it won best overall exhibit. Out of a record two hundred floral entries, the most beautiful thing at the show was a public enemy. The bouquet was then disposed of safely, so it couldn't spread.

In San Francisco on Saturday, people competed to look like Elizabeth Holmes and Nathan Fielder, whose new documentary is about her. UPI reports dozens of contestants in Lafayette Park, with hundreds watching. Events included a dance battle, a marketing pitch for the Fielders, a business pitch for the Holmeses, and a staring contest, which is the most Elizabeth Holmes event there is.

The Holmes winner was Sierra Stingl, a thirty-year-old plastic surgery resident at Stanford. So, already further along at Stanford than Elizabeth Holmes got. The Fielder winner, Alex Kesin, twenty-two, said, "It makes me feel happy." Which is about as much emotion as a Fielder is allowed to show.

On Sunday night at Ontario International Airport, east of Los Angeles, a Frontier passenger waiting for takeoff heard someone nearby say "bomb" and "explosion," and told the crew. CBS Los Angeles reports the plane was evacuated, along with the east wing of Terminal Two.

Police detained one man, who explained he was on FaceTime with a friend while playing Call of Duty online. Police found nothing and said no crime was committed. Everyone got back on the plane, including him. That's going to be a long flight for one row.

And Starbucks Japan has a new drink coming Friday: the Potato Soupuccino. SoraNews24 reports it's potato soup topped with steamed milk foam and roasted almonds, with notes of baked potato and caramelized onion. It follows earlier truffle and pumpkin Soupuccinos. Starbucks calls it a "self-care soup," and describes it as "a gentle flavour encased in fluffy foam." It starts at about three dollars, and the barista will still ask how you'd like your soup.

Over on AskReddit, someone asked millennials, as they approach forty-five, what their midlife crisis is starting to look like.

The top answer, in full: "45 here, subscribed to WoW Forever."

One person took twelve weeks of approved medical leave, is resigning by email the day before going back, and just interviewed for an entry-level job. Their review of the position: "No decision making? Yes please. No managing? Yes!" Someone else said they're sick of big tech and want to start their own business. A reply: "I think you should speak to some people that have ran their own business, because I suspect you're in for a brutal lesson."

Someone renovated their basement into a home gym and declared, "I shall become the strongest I've ever been." A forty-six-year-old confirmed it works. They're still hitting new records. "Injuries take forever to heal though."

When one commenter described lying awake at two a.m. contemplating infinite nothingness, the advice was to get a motorcycle. Life is still meaningless, "but weeeeeeee."

And one person simply wrote, "My life has been a series of crisis. I'm having a midlife peace." A reply: "Entering my calm, tea-drinking era."

Another thread asked who the greatest troll in history is.

The top answer was Sacha Baron Cohen. Close behind was Jimmy Carter, who, according to one commenter, ran for governor of Georgia acting friendly to segregationists, then declared as soon as he was inaugurated that he'd work to end racial discrimination.

Someone nominated Tom Green, and a reply backed it up: "I paid 7 bucks to see Freddy Got Fingered, and for my efforts I had to watch Freddy Got Fingered."

Someone offered Orson Welles and the War of the Worlds panic. Another commenter said the panic was exaggerated by newspapers trying to make radio look dangerous. "So the real troll was big newspaper."

And one nominee: "The guy who invented replying 'source?' to every comment." He's out there. He's never going to tell you who he is.

Alright guys, That’s all I have for you today. Have a great day. Thanks for listening. See you tomorrow!