Rice Krispies Without Rice and a Pikachu Bank Bandit

Read the episode (Narration script)

Kellogg's has taken the rice out of Rice Krispies. The name is staying. Let's proceed carefully.

According to The Grocer, the UK versions of Rice Krispies and Coco Pops have new recipes. Rice Krispies are now made with rice flour instead of whole rice. Coco Pops use rice flour and corn flour. Kellogg's says changing weather conditions are affecting the quality and availability of some of its rice.

So the rice is still in there. It's just been through something.

The new recipes also contain wheat gluten, which means a cereal made of rice is no longer safe for people who can't eat wheat. That was one of the main things it had going for it. Kellogg's said, quote, "We appreciate that even small changes to a much-loved product can feel noticeable."

Snap, Crackle and Pop have not commented. They're presumably still checking whether rice flour makes the noise.

In election news, the prediction market Kalshi spent the run-up to Election Day asking people to vote with cigarette butts.

The Houston Chronicle reports that Kalshi put out what it calls "cigarette ballot boxes" in Austin, New York and Washington. In Austin, the box asked, "Who will win the Texas Senate race?" Each candidate got a slot. You drop your finished cigarette into the side you think will win. Kalshi says it doubles as a recycling initiative.

Democracy has always asked a lot. Register, find your polling place, wait in line. This is the first version that also asks you to have just finished a cigarette.

The internet was not enthusiastic. One commenter wrote, "Gambling AND Lung Cancer." Another pointed out that a traditional sports book would make you deposit an unsmoked cigarette.

Somebody, at some point, has to count those.

In Colorado, the Jefferson County Sheriff's Office has arrested a man it calls the "Pikachu onesie bandit."

Denver7 reports that on two nights in October, someone used a softball bat to smash doors, ATMs and a sign at two banks, while partially wearing a Pikachu onesie. Partially. As if the full onesie would have been unprofessional.

Investigators got their break when a caller told them the suspect was livestreaming on X, talking about what he'd done. He also allegedly reposted the sheriff's office post about the case and wished everyone a Happy Halloween.

So the investigation was less a manhunt than a follow-back.

Deputies arrested the thirty-year-old in a Walmart parking lot and say they found a Pikachu onesie and a bat in his car. He's charged with criminal mischief, and more charges could follow.

And now, a brief update from the alligators.

In Southport, North Carolina, a three-foot alligator walked into a bagel shop called Bagel Dock Express. UPI reports the back door had been left open, so it came in through the kitchen and headed for the front counter, like a regular.

The owner, Jesse Driscoll, met it there, panicked briefly and called 911. The shop's Facebook page took a calmer view: "Apparently, word of our fresh bagels has made its way into the swamp." Police and animal control removed the customer. The shop was closed at the time, so it left without ordering.

Meanwhile, Xbox announced that an alligator swallowed an Xbox Series X. In its words, "And yes, it still works."

It's a promotion. They built a gator over five feet long with a working console in its belly, visible through a glowing Xbox logo, and a controller in its jaws with bite marks. Xbox says the design was inspired by Florida, no real alligators were used, and it's "best as display only." Which is good advice for most alligators.

You can enter to win it until November tenth. It's one of a kind, and you'll have to explain it to every guest.

Over on AskReddit, people shared the most blatant weaponized incompetence they've ever seen.

The top answer came from someone whose trainer told them, when they started, quote, "If you do things wrong enough, they stop asking you to do them." That man retires next month. He's the most senior person in the department and has the least responsibility. It worked for twenty years.

A reply noted it's harder than it sounds. You have to fail just enough. Another put it this way: "The balance of suck to success must be well maintained by the practitioner."

A maintenance worker admitted he does it himself. He'll unclog a drain, patch a roof, lift a toilet to pull a vape out of the pipe. But he hates painting. So he paints badly, and nobody has asked him to paint since.

And a woman's assistant came in and announced, "My wife is out of town this weekend, so I'm homeless." He then waited for her to offer to cook for him. She reminded him that McDonald's exists.

Another thread asked for your most paranoid food safety rule.

The top answer treats raw chicken like weapons-grade plutonium. One touch of the packaging and the kitchen is a hot zone, and the faucet gets opened with an elbow, like a surgeon. A reply said their household calls this "meat hands," as in, "Can you turn the faucet on for me? I have meat hands."

A cat owner said their cat has been trained to stay off the counters. Someone corrected that. The cat has been trained to stay off the counters while you're looking.

One person won't drink after kids, because kids always spit some back. A reply remembered sharing water with a brother who'd just eaten Goldfish crackers. The water came back orange.

And one commenter felt everyone had missed the point, summarizing the answers as, quote: "I know I'm out on a limb here, but I make sure to fully cook my chicken and not lick the lady with cholera."

Alright guys, That’s all I have for you today. Have a great day. Thanks for listening. See you tomorrow!